Is Marriage via Social Media Safe?
By: Randa Ali – Madameek
A video featuring five Sudanese women residing in the UAE expressing their desire to marry was not an ordinary event on social media. The video, in which the women stipulated that their future husbands be over 45 years old, sparked a wide range of reactions and comments, from supporters and opponents to those questioning the idea of seeking a life partner through social media.
The women’s appearance in the video was not directed at any specific person or a direct proposal to a particular man. Rather, it came within the context of using social media as a platform to announce their desire for marriage and to search for a life partner, a phenomenon that has become increasingly prevalent in recent years.
The idea of a woman offering herself for marriage is not entirely new. Societies have long known the “matchmaker” as a social mediator between families, and some newspapers and magazines in the past dedicated space to dating and marriage advertisements. However, the difference today lies in the widespread reach and ease of access, along with the significant transformation that social media has brought about in people’s lives and relationships. This proliferation of online relationships raises many questions about their ability to provide psychological stability and emotional security, especially given the frequent lack of genuine knowledge about the other person.
Psychiatrist Amal Mohamed Ahmed says that digital relationships often begin with carefully chosen or embellished information, with each party trying to present their best self or present a polished image to the other.
She adds, “There’s a saying: ‘I don’t lie, I just embellish,’ and this might create a quick but superficial trust.”
Amal believes that the absence of direct interaction at the beginning of a relationship obscures many important details, such as body language and tone of voice, which can lead to misunderstandings or misinterpretations. Furthermore, constant communication via messages and calls sometimes creates a false sense of closeness, or what she describes as “illusory intimacy.”
According to Amal, some of the most prominent indicators of insecure or deceptive relationships include an unnatural acceleration of emotions, making grand promises too soon, avoiding face-to-face meetings or video calls without a clear reason, and inconsistencies or constant changes in personal information. She also points out that early control and jealousy, even in short-term relationships, can be worrying signs, as can unreasonable demands for money or financial support, which she considers a “strong indicator of fraud.”
She notes that the most dangerous aspect of these relationships sometimes lies in identity theft or engaging in superficial connections based on temporary emotional gratification, with rapid attachment due to constant communication throughout the day, coupled with the difficulty of verifying the other person’s true social background.
Regarding how to protect oneself from such relationships, Amal advises building trust gradually and avoiding haste, emphasizing the importance of real-life verification through video calls or meetings in safe places. She also stresses the need to avoid sharing sensitive or financial information prematurely, maintain clear boundaries, and seek the opinion of a trusted family member or friend.
In conclusion, she affirms that online relationships are “not inherently bad,” but they can lead to a rapid increase in trust without sufficient safeguards, thus requiring awareness, verification, and clear boundaries. In a previous discussion circulating online, Egyptian preacher Mustafa Hosny addressed a question regarding whether a woman who admires a man on social media can propose marriage to him, especially if he has already expressed his desire to marry.
Hosny explained that there are two aspects to this issue. Firstly, much information about a person on social media remains unclear, including their character, personality, family background, and even their level of religious commitment. He pointed out that “positive talk about religion on social media is not enough to truly know someone.”
He added that the problem lies in the possibility of marrying a “unknown person,” which could later lead to conflict after marriage due to the lack of genuine knowledge about the other spouse.
The second aspect concerns the idea of a woman proposing marriage, a matter he stated is “historically established and not new,” citing the story of Khadija bint Khuwaylid (may God be pleased with her) when she sent Nafisa bint Munya to ask the Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him) about his opinion on marriage. Hosni explained that in this particular case, the relationship wasn’t based on direct admiration or emotional infatuation, but rather on questions, introductions, and getting to know the man, his qualities, and his circumstances.
The Egyptian preacher added that he fears young women might be exploited in such situations, saying that while some of these marriages might succeed, they remain—as he described them—”a risk that shouldn’t be taken.” He urged caution and the pursuit of safe and secure ways to meet and marry.