A SUFI IN AGONY
What secrets of the universe this atom holds
within its tiny folds!
Examine it inside out and unite with its inner depth.
Fly around and explore its piety-replete realms.
Shuttle between big and small atoms.
You will see the whole universe in ceaseless prayer.
Smell the rose. See how redolent it is.
Its roots running deep in the soil,
exposing a stem: dewy, full of bloom.
Ask the nightingale: who created flowers and roses inspiring its twitter?
Ask the flower: who endowed it with redolence and greenery?
You will see the soul in plain sight,
and hear something from within.
The true existence has unfathomable dimensions within the self.
The pure universe is intimately attached to the soul.
Everything in this universe,
in its alleys the Lord does stroll.
This tiny ant is His echo.
Within her folds He lives; on His soil she exists.
And when she yields her spirit,
onto His hands she will fall.
Alone, I was hearkening to the world’s whisper.
I could hear the atoms’ inner thoughts and senses,
and the melody of the turbulent light.
I could watch as baby roses are born,
and when they come to full bloom,
and when grapevines burst out fruits.
This world, my glorious Lord, surely can’t stand on its own.
Out of Your fire you molded the jinn.
And out of Your light You cast mankind.
From Your first light cast on Adam’s clay,
countless nations are still in the womb of the unseen;
a whole world within the clay;
souls packing water and air passages.
All creatures supplicated you, as did I.
I believed in you; so did they.
I came out of the unseen and made my proclamation- and so did they.
And time is on a race to which destination I have no clue.
In your grand exposures and manifestations,
your clear signs- part of your attributes,
your compassion and warmth- part of your emanation,
your ultimate perfectness- the light of your divine guidance,
I worshipped you saintly, like a true devout
dissolving my soul in prayers.
Then what?
After all that purity and serenity,
my soul plunged into darkness.
I can no longer see what I used to see.
My once clear sky is now engulfed
in a thick cloud of dust.
A gloomy fate is my hope; death is my pursuit.
O the end of my lunacy; O my doomsday.
stop by, giant, and share some of my food and drinks
come to my rescue- my heart is weighed down with grief.
I see my bright blissful world falling apart.
Where my soul once blossomed and shed off her wrinkles,
dark doubts now invaded my nascent faith
and my longing recaptured the super bliss.
I wonder who took away pleasure,
leaving me alone with my insanity.
Today my ears can only hear wails and moans.
My eyes are blind to all things tiny and big.
My soul can no longer see your splendor- the bright dawn.
All stream waters turned to stone.
All melodies ran back to their strings,
and took shelter in the darkness
of a feeble, sick lute.