Narcissistic Acts : What if he came back apologizing?! 

By: Alaa Babiker

Dear readers, I hope life is treating you all well, and I wish that we have the enough stability encouraging all of us to come back and live happily again inside the borders of our beloved country.

Today’s article is about a very important matter that has affected everyone’s life – at least once. The title is saying a lot about the article; what to do when someone come back apologizing for their mistakes. This is a generalized view, let’s be more specific; what if someone you used to love comes back apologizing?! This question includes many people with different titles, brothers & sisters, cousins, relatives, & neighbors, it includes every relationship that bonds two persons together.

To be even more specific, what if a lover comes back apologizing for their past mistakes?!

Someone you truly loved and trusted with all your heart. Someone who knows not only you but your entire family and even relatives.

Many of the rising issues between lovers come from the ultimate trust one gives to the other. Some people take advantage of this trust and uses the other badly leaving them hurt and broken, or even going to prison!

The most unimaginable pain comes from the emotional hurt, one can lose trust in not only one person but the entire surrounding.

When you love someone you give them not only love but trust, care, uniqueness, patience, and you share with them even your own happiness. Unfortunately some people use the honesty of others and turn love relationships into disasters. The amount of lies and mental manipulation leave the other emotionally hurt and mistrusting other people’s intentions.

Doctors and mental-health professionals generally describe mental manipulation by a romantic partner as a form of psychological or emotional abuse, not a normal relationship conflict.

Regarding this matter, we asked the Sudanese Dr. Ahmed Galam about his opinion, he commented: “it’s very difficult to consider the return of someone from the past as it has many complications. Most importantly is the reason; why is he/she coming back?! One should be very careful of answering this question before considering any further steps of letting someone who made emotional abuse comes back into our lives.

It would be a great risk if we consider giving someone a second chance without thinking of the main reason of separation, our value, and our self-respect.

Miscommunication, negligence, emotional immaturity, lies, emotional abuse, cheating, all are important factors we should relate as they can happen again.

The decision of letting someone back into our lives is more like punishing ourselves by reliving a state of previous emptiness, so we should take the decision so slowly and with much of thinking and appreciation to ourselves”.

The other example happening nowadays, and specially to the expat Sudanese female workers, as many manipulation cases happened of people getting closely to them and asking them for marriage, they let the girls take large number of bank loans in the name of “marriage preparation”, the males take the money and completely disappear, meanwhile the girls are left emotionally hurt and have thousands of loan money to pay back. This could actually get the girls to go to prison, so all girls should be very careful nowadays.

In conclusion, everyone is susceptible to emotional hurt and abuse, and getting back to people who hurt us before could be a reason of reliving the same experience again and again.

May Allah help us all, and may Him save our beloved country.